So far….

I guess I should bring you all to speed with my journey so far….

I am currently half way through my 37th year in life, I have for the most part had an amazing life which now sees me living on an island on the west coast of Scotland with my hubby of 16 years and 3 collie dogs. I run my own business and for the most part enjoy it……

Hubby and I had put off starting a family for a group of reasons – which now all seem silly in the struggle that is – anyway, we did and 2 years ago when the Marina coil I had in needed replacing we took the decision to start trying for a family. Now as far the great Circle of life goes…. you’re born – you grow – you reproduce – you grow old – you die! (I’m wondering how many of you are actually singing the song…) so when you take a decision to start a family I guess you don’t think about things…well…not working….in my honest opinion I thought that having my coil out in the November meant that I would be heading south in March to tell the family that they were going to be Great and Grandparents…….I guessed wrong….

I guess the first few months are all excitement, you research everything to do with it on the web, every twinge through your TWW (two week wait) you hope is a sign, you log everything on apps and take temperatures etc etc…what it becomes is all consuming…..If you have ever been in this position you will understand, but for those who don’t I will try to explain… never leaves your mind, you become so in tune with your body that you know every single twinge, you know what day of the month it is only because of where you are on your cycle, sex becomes like a military exercise…waiting for the right time then go go go!! you laugh…but it’s sadly true and I can tell you that it completely tests the strength of your relationship, and any slight cracks and it will blow them wide open, thankfully so far the hubs and I have been through enough to only make this journey together too but trust me there has been some huge fights….and then there has been both of us sat curled up crying just because you don’t understand what’s wrong with you and why it’s not working….

So to bring this up to speed as I am sure I will touch on other things as I go along here, when you’re over 35 they start testing you earlier than if you’re younger, this is because of the obvious…’re just not as young or have as long left as a fully functional women! so by 12 months (nothing moves fast on the rock) Both Hubby and I have been back and forth to Glasgow Hospital and the conclusion is “unexplained infertility” this means that even though it’s not happened, there is no reason to why  😦 (I do have a 3cm fibroid on my left side but they assure me that this doesn’t effect anything) Now because of this it means that we have to wait 2 years from when I had the coil out to be given any help and again because I am getting ripe…it’s straight onto an IVF programme…..this takes us to November…..when I can go back to the docs and say “please help me have a baby” now before then I do need to shift a bit a weight as the NHS in the UK have some strict rules, but I started martial art work out classes and yoga a few months ago and I’m happily making progress with this but also I need to get my life in order before November as being in the scene of infertility, so groups, support networks etc, IVF is no walk in the park, I am a veg farmer by trade so it is coming to the end of my season but as this will continue well into next year I need to make sure staff are in place and that things are tied up so I can just concentrate on this and hopefully, a pregnancy 🙂

The point to the blog is to show that it’s ok to talk about it, it’s quite a taboo subject to most and I think you only really find out how many people actually go the same when you are in it too so even if my blog just lets one couple out there know they are not alone then it’s all I can ask……

Write again soon



Maitreya – body

Catwa – Head

Eye shadow  – Catwa eyeshadow – Smoky boudoir

Eyebrows – L’Etre – Fierce

Erratic – Black hoodie top

Ison – Solange ripped shorts

Boots – Maitreya Moccasin boots

Pose – eTc Poses – Girl sitting

Rings – Nyala Bento rings

~Esoteric~ – Location

An old cheesy one but one where the words are quite fitting

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